Friday, August 12, 2011

Back to School Dreams

Based on my scientific survey of the teachers I have spoken to in the past week or so, I am not alone in having bizarre back to school dreams.  Any teacher I didn't talk to and has a trick for not dreaming about school, please let me know because I wake up all flummoxed and cranky.  I am aware that these dreams are a result of thinking a lot about school, anxiety/excitement for the new year, and a little bit of brain vomit.  But for the sake of my blogging readership and some funsies,  I went to the first dream interpretation guide I found on Google to examine potential dream messages.  After all, "acquiring the ability to interpret your dreams is a powerful tool.  In analyzing your dreams, you can learn about your deep secrets and hidden feelings" (  Let's do this!

Dream #1:  I am getting a haircut, but my principal is the one cutting my hair.  It is awkward.

My interpretation:  I probably should get my hair cut before school starts.  My principal is kind of awkward. 

Dream dictionary interpretation: To dream that someone is giving you a haircut suggests that you are experiencing a decreased sense of power.  You feel you are being criticized unfairly.  Alternatively, your dream haircut symbolizes a fresh start.  You are shedding some unwanted aspect of yourself. 

Reaction:  Whoa!  I must totally be experiencing a decreased sense of power because it is an authority figure cutting my hair!!  He's not really critical though, he mostly makes kindly suggestions.  I am getting a fresh start in a new building though...points for the dictionary!

Dream #2:  I am frantic on the first day of school and running around like a fool.  I am given the news that one of my classes is going to be split up to make my other classes bigger, and I'm losing my planning time.  During these extra hours, I will have to serve as school nurse.  I panic because I don't know how to be a nurse.

My interpretation:  Hmm.  Could this really happen?  With budget cuts all over the place, maybe teachers will have to take shifts doling out band aids or waxing the floors.  What if a kid barfs on me???  If it's slow enough, maybe I could still get some grading done.

Dream dictionary interpretation:  I find it odd that there is an entry for nurse and wet nurse, but not school nurse.  Here's what nurse said: To dream that you are a nurse suggests that you need to show more compassion in a situation.

Reaction:  Harsh!  I'm totally compassionate.  I was grossed out by the dream students though, so maybe they're who I need to be nicer to.

Dream #3:  I am approached by the school band director and asked to help out with the marching band.  I love band and am totally excited!  I am a chaperone on the bus to a competition.  When I get off the bus, I'm told that there's been a misunderstanding - I'm not there as a chaperone, but I'm needed as a substitute player because some kid got sick.  They get me a uniform and a trombone, and send me on the field.  I don't know the music or the drill, and I'm very stressed.

My interpretation:  Between the new school year approaching and the big move, this has been a stressful time for me.  Maybe I feel like I need more guidance.  Also, I am an incredible dweeb.

Dream dictionary interpretation: To see or be in a marching band (This is common???)  indicates that you are a team player and able to work in harmony for a common cause.  You show great discipline.  Also, to see or play a trombone in your dream represents success in love.

Reaction:  Oh yeah!  I am AWESOME!!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Growing Old Gracefully

Confession:  I am 26, and I am basically an old biddy. I always thought I would like to be a sweet old lady like my Grandma Helen, but given my height and cranky disposition, I will probably age more like my Great-Aunt Lola, who was a towering old broad with an alarmingly gruff voice and an unfortunate humpback.  She did make beautiful afghans, but I was terrified of her.  While I've accepted that I am more 'traditional' and 'old-fashioned' in my views and ideals, I fear that I am also becoming a little more grumpy and odd.  I read Mary Higgins Clark and the Brontes, my Netflix queue recommends British Romantic Dramas, Period Pieces Based on Literature, and Films with Strong Female Leads, and I fade fast in the heat.  I also have been known to rant about kids these days and their twilights and their abercrombies and their beibers.  But I've observed some other traits that are making me fussy and pushing me more into old lady realm:

1.  I just got a new HP laptop for my job, and I have been having trouble switching back and forth between that and my personal macbook.  It's really hard!  I forget all the shortcut keys, and I don't like it.  It makes me cranky.

2.  I am a loyal Hy-Vee shopper, but I have been getting bad customer service!  The past several times I have been there, the cashier hasn't even said hello, let alone ask me if I found everything I needed.  I haven't complained to anyone, or threatened to take my business elsewhere, but I worked in retail long enough to expect a greeting!  I think this is just a stepping stone to the nursing home, though.  I'd probably have to formally lodge a complaint, and starting paying for my items in the express lane with a check to really demonstrate my old ladyness.   

3.  I really, really, love cardigans.  I do.  And mine are mostly fun and relatively fashionable.  I don't have any with holiday appliques or knobby fabric lumps.  I am starting to button them up higher and higher though.  Soon enough, I'll be wearing a fully buttoned cardigan over a turtleneck pull-over.  I prefer to pair my many cardigans with ballet flats.  I always wear flats because they're more comfortable to teach in and I'm still overcoming my childhood trauma as an Amazon freak.  But regular ballet flats aren't cutting it anymore.  I need shoes with more support, and sturdy heels that will hold up well.  My arches aren't going to support themselves, and toe-cleavage is a definite no.

Between these new developments, my sickening affection for my pet, and the care I lavish on my houseplants, I think the tennis ball and walker combo can't be far behind.  I better learn how to knit.